The world is going to end by the new year. Is that eastern time?
A review by Mike Shea Movie Rating: ( * · · · · ) DVD Rating: ( * * * * * )
Ok, lets start off right. End of Days is laughable. I can't recall such a mixed up movie that was as close to a parity of Schwartzinegger as Last Action Hero was. It really is like mixing Stigmata and Commando (both terrible movies in their own rights) to create a special kind of crap. Right off we are led to believe that our hero is a down and out ex cop who's family was killed by thugs. I don't know, but Arnold doesn't much look like a guy who let himself go no matter how often he doesn't shave or how many pepto/chinese food breakfast shakes he drinks. I don't buy an suicidal alcoholic spending the time to have biceps like that. Then there is the stereotypical Slappy, the Sidekick Clown who I gave odds of 20 to 1 for survivalability, but they get worse with every slappy joke he makes. Then I am led to believe that Arnold can get an ass kicking by an over weight 60 year old nurse maid wielding a piano? I don't care if she is possessed, he would kick her ass, just take a look at Conan. There is a scene where satan comes to New York and gives a woman the most passionate kiss I can recall seeing in a movie, only to blow her up. I can't think of another movie with God vs the Devil where more stuff blew up than this. Sure, if I was going to battle satan, I would grab all the red tipped fragmentation grenades I can get. Hell, I better grab the yellow tipped one too while I am at it, after all, this is the prince of darkness. There is one scene in the middle where Satan and our hero have a chat (after we determine that Arnold can't blow him away by unloading a Glock into him) but it ends up being a rip off of Pacino's rant in Devil's Advocate only bad. Ok, you do get to see a lot of young women topless and you do get to see Arnold carry more guns than Chow Yun Fat, but it does little to save this Y2K disaster of a movie. The plot is so thin that it does give you a little time to contemplate what would make an electric train blow up like a 50' firecracker. The DVD does have an excellent 2.35 to 1 16x9 enhanced picture and a good solid Dolby Digital 5.1 track that I believe can be decoded with an EX decoder. There is a commentary by the director, Peter Hyams but unless it is him apologizing for two hours, I really don't want to hear it. I gotta say that after seeing Conan again, Schwarzenegger is really becoming more and more of a disappointment. If I were him I would be begging Cameron to let him star in T3.
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