written by Mike Shea on 24 March 2000
Being the open minded reviewer that I am, I try to watch movies with as unjaded eyes as possible. You might all know me as the only guy on earth who didn't like Office Space or the one with the unreasonable No Funny Gangsters rule, but really I try to keep the field open and watch all movies on an even playing field. Ok, I am lying.
Still, it is nice to know that sometimes I am not the only one to pick a stinker. As soon as I saw the ads for Erin Brockovich I knew I had found the anthesis of every good movie out there. I know that it is directed by the same fellow who did Out of Sight and The Limey but I think this guy needs to stick to obscure gangster movies and stay away from the hollywood crack handed out by the suits. Here we have some crazy strong woman movie that drags the women in with it's "single mom of three fights male corporate America" plot and manages to drag in the men with "look! Julia Robert's bra!". Needless to say this fell right into the heap of movies categorized in the "rather get baptized in a porta-john" section.
Anyway, sometimes my biases keep me from the good movies, after all, if I had stuck to my guns on Keano Reeves, I never would have seen The Matrix! This time, it looks like I am right. Here, Roger Ebert gives his review of Erin Brockovich. Sure he gave it two stars, but he gave three and a half stars to "Anaconda", Ice Cube's final attempt at an Oscar for best doo rag. Anyway, his review was spot on to my predictions with statements like "But her performance upstages the story; this is always Roberts, not Brockovich, and unwise wardrobe decisions position her character somewhere between a caricature and a distraction." and "the Hollywood version makes her look like a miniskirted hooker, with bras that peek cheerfully above her necklines." Now this is starting to get a little closer to his dangerously stalker-like quotes from his review of Three to Tango's Neve Campbell "nothing else to think about, I was free to observe her intently." and my favorite "she twinkles with enjoyment at her own naughtiness; consider a scene where she slithers in a bubble bath and describes a lesbian flirtation with her Brazilian roommate in college." Man, starting to sound like a Penthouse forum!
Unfortunately, another movie I have had my eye on ever since I saw the wild Matrix-like ad is Romeo Must Die with Jet Lee of Lethal Weapon 4 fame. Now this guy kicks ass. I am beginning to be a big fan of the crazy hong kong wire based kung fu and this movie looks like it is it. Sure Ebert panned it with one and a half stars saying that the obvious breach of reality breaks the fun in the movie, but in my mind surrealism is half the fun. Unfortunately, I probably will end up agreeing with Ebert, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to like the movie. Well, maybe I better hold off on his review of Mission Impossible 2 until after I have seen it.
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